Top 10 Most Subtle Ways To Fart

Although there is no good way to mask the smell of a silent but deadly, there are a few techniques to subtly pass the gas. The farts that are the most audible are often times not that smelly so you’re most likely. These aren’t fool proof, but maybe if you’re in one of these situations, you’ll get away with a loud fart. Therefore, check out this Top 10 List of how to Subtly Fart.

Go To The Bathroom

Public restroom

Why not go to the place where farts are expected. If you feel the fart coming, and if you think it’s going to be a doozy, excuse yourself form where you are and stroll to the loo. Make sure no one is around (even if people are in the stalls it’s cool) and let it rip. No worries, it’s a place that smells anyways.

Spray Something

Sprayed air freshener in hand on room background

Actually keep a can of air freshener around where you are. This is perfect for the office fart. Timing is key here, as you can’t really hold on the spray can for an extended time. Fart and spray at the same time. It’ll mask the smell and the sound! Brilliant!

Clap

Business Colleagues Applauding In Conference Room

This one is a classic. Clap as you fart. Pretend you’re catching a fly or something.

Get Up (Make Noise With Your Chair)

Businessman arriving at office

For this one, you need to be a good actor. Get up and move your chair around making loud noises. If you can, try to fart as you’re getting up. This will time perfectly with this trick.

Type Really Loudly

Hands on keyboard

People sometimes slam their keyboards at the office when they’re frustrated. This is perfect for you if you’re trying to get away with a fart. Just sound really frustrated and slam your keyboard. Also a good hefty SIGH would make it seem realistic. You can pass gas without seeming too crazy. The only con for this is that people may ask you, “hey what’s wrong?” Worth it.

Cough

Flu Symptoms at Work

Coughing is very natural and occurs throughout the day very frequently. It’s also pretty loud. Let out a few coughs as you let out stink gas.

Sneeze

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Similar to the cough, just make the noise. Be careful though, as you might let a little poo out!

Drop Something

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If you’re known to be a bit clumsy, this trick is for you. Drop something that will make a sound as it hits the floor. Again, this one is huge on timing. As it drops, let out the fart. The sound and concern for your dropped object will distract those around you! (maybe)

Blame Someone Next To You

woman covers nose man stinks

This one works too. It’s designed to be not to mask the fart, but to mask that it was you. You can be VERY subtle with it. Let it rip, then don’t say anything but stare at the person everyone else would assume farted. No words, but a glare. It’ll work like a charm or at least have everyone laugh about it.

No Shame

Me?

This works ONLY when you’re in an appropriate setting. People will forget about for fart in five minutes. So why not just let it go, let it go~ Have no shame and just fart all you want. No hiding it. Do this if you’re a confident person.